


i dreamed there was an angel

by jasondean



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 06:05:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6553975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasondean/pseuds/jasondean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"letting him know things, feel things, you dont even understand yourself -- thats what this is for her, moritz. thats what she feels."</p>
            </blockquote>





	i dreamed there was an angel

**Author's Note:**

> jesus, i havent posted on ao3 in ages, sorry. i had the idea for this back when i saw deaf wests spring awakening on broadway in january but i didnt write it until, like, yesterday. moritz and melchior are INCREDIBLY gay and no one can convince me otherwise. im sorry if i got the order of events wrong or messed up either one of the boys characters, i guess if you really have an issue with it you can yell at me about it in the reviews! lots of love, jd.

"melchi, you dont get it. it was... awful. completely awful," moritz shudders, shaking his head slightly as he recalls the dream -- no, no, the nightmare. "this... this vision... its _haunting_ me."  
  
"haunting you?" melchior laughs. "ah, moritz stiefel. always one for dramatics."  
  
moritz huffs slightly, kicking at a rock on the dirt path. the walk home from school is familiar to him no matter the time of year. at this time, the sun shines down on the two boys as intensely as if it were still squeezing out a couple of days of summer, while the trees all around them are filled to the brim with orange painted leaves. the day is nice, but everyone knows that summer will be a distant memory in a months time as they spend their days holed up at home by the fireplace, daydreaming of the upcoming spring.  
  
"i am _not_ being dramatic!" moritz says, his voice cracking slightly, causing melchior to laugh even more. now its not the sun making his face burn up.  
  
"what was this... _dream_... again?" melchior muses.  
  
"no. this conversation is over. i dont want you making fun of me anymore."  
  
"me? making fun? of you?" the other boy scoffs, pretending to sound hurt. "oh, no, no, no! dont humor me, moritz. im being completely serious."  
  
moritz rolls his eyes, unimpressed.  
  
"let me help you," melchior says, his voice softened and somewhat sincere. "i know its stressful. these types of things, they usually are. thats what all the books say! that essay will be in your abnormally small hands as soon as possible."  
  
moritz glances back to his right hand, clutching the strap of his bag. he sighs, deciding to ignore the comment instead of pondering what the correct size of hands is. is there a correct size? jesus, melchior makes everything so confusing all the time. like it amuses him to see moritz flounder.  
  
"an angel visited me," moritz recounts at last. "the most beautiful angel youve ever seen. i couldnt see her face, just... just acres of legs. god, those legs, melchi! what does it mean?! she... she didnt speak much. it was..."  
  
"pleasant?"  
  
"uncomfortable."  
  
"ah."  
  
"i woke up, and my sheets were ruined! absolutely _ruined_."   
  
melchior tuts, glancing over at his troubled friend. "its normal, moritz. every man goes through that! i understand your bewilderment, but you dont have to be afraid of those dreams."  
  
"you go through it, too?" moritz squeaks. he only gets a shrug in response.   
  
"well, im not dreaming of any angels. im not sure such a thing exists," he says with another shrug.  
  
"i dont want these visions, melchi. how do i make them go away? you say i dont, but god, there must be a way! i cant live like this!"  
  
melchior rolls his eyes. moritzs heart sinks as he realizes hes lost him completely. "youre being ridiculous," melchior says coolly, picking up the pace to move ahead of moritz. he stops, watching him go.  
  
he pulls a hand through his wild mop of curly hair, a soft sigh leaving his lips. he just wishes someone would tell him how to make it stop. melchior says its normal, but deep inside, moritz knows its not -- so, there has to be a stop to it, doesnt there?  
  
he wants to call after the now gone melchior, start all over. _there was no woman, no legs. oh, but there was an angel. just me and this man, and he was warm and alive and near me, and i could hear his heart beat, melchi... and, god, it was beautiful._   
  
melchi is his best friend, isnt he? plus, hes an atheist, isnt that right? his radical views have been causing a stir in their school ever since moritz can remember. yet, something stops him, from running to melchiors house and begging him to listen, to understand his wrongdoing and his sin. for some reason, he still fears the judgement. there will have to be judgement, wont there?  
  
 _atheist, catholic, jew, whatever you are... that will always be the same, wont it?_  
  
the smoke flowing through his lungs somehow clears his mind. moritz takes in a long drag of the smoke, closing his eyes and feeling his nerves settle. when he opens his eyes, there is melchior, watching him expectantly. its been a few days since the incident with the vision, and a day since melchiors essay made it into his bag.  
  
"its so much worse, now," moritz sighs finally. the boy across from him frowns, a real frown thats deep set in his youthful face. his brows furrow, genuinely troubled.   
  
"but, doesnt it explain everything? i dont understand, moritz. its human nature..."  
  
"the dreams are worse, now," he says, frustrated. "i dont care how natural you say this is, its not natural to me! i thought id understand and this would be over but its just..." moritz shakes his head, sighing. "i dont understand still. i just dont, melchi."  
  
melchior nods slowly. "i guess, the only way to really understand is experience."  
  
"but, _you_ understand. wait, you havent--?!"  
  
"no, no, moritz," he chuckles. "i guess i understand, just a bit. but not fully. not enough to help you, i suppose. im really sorry," he says.   
  
moritz looks over the crumpled paper flattened out against only one of the collection of melchiors many heavy books. its isnt unusual, to see such technical terms in melchiors delicate handwriting, but it stirs something in moritz. he still doesnt have his answers. but, what does he expect, with his inability to cough out the question in the first place?  
  
he discards his smoke and allows a hand to trace over melchiors etchings. the endless drawings in the margin and the words, all given to him by melchi, the boy too smart for his own good.  
  
"you get it, more than me," he says softly, looking back up at melchior.  
  
the other shrugs slightly, his gaze back on the paper, a grin pulling at the corners of his lips as he skims over the paragraphs.   
  
"it all seems so... easy for you. to quell it. to understand it," moritz remarks.  
  
"well, i just imagine what she might feel."  
  
"she? you mean, what the woman feels...?"  
  
"yes. thats how the world works, moritz. thats how it _should_ work, where we know _all_ of the sides to a story." moritz coughs, feeling his friend drift into his usual passionate ramblings. melchior apologizes quickly at the sound.  
  
"how... she feels?" moritz repeats once more.   
  
"i just put myself in her place."  
  
moritz bites his lip as their gazes meet. his, nervous, uncertain. melchiors, unquenchable curiosity, as usual. hes the first to break the eye contact, standing up and pushing in his chair, which emits a loud _screech_.  
  
he goes to his knees in front of moritz, whos still clad in his school uniform, tie and all. moritz breath catches in his throat as melchior moves to untie the piece, discarding it on the table. his careful fingers move to undo the buttons on moritzs shirt, who tries to ignore the electricity he feels when melchiors hand brushes against his chest.  
  
"how do you feel, moritz?" he asks gently, peeling the shirt off of him.  
  
"vulnerable."  
  
"yeah?"  
  
"exposed."  
  
every muscle in his body is telling moritz to bolt, to make an excuse of homework they both know he doesnt have and skip on back home for some time alone. but he stays glued to the seat, watching as melchiors gaze trails over him.  
  
"for her, thats how it is." the sound of melchiors voice where silence once was almost makes moritz jump. "thats how i imagine it. youre letting yourself go, to the person you love, letting them know the deepest, darkest parts of you... its a bit daunting, see?"  
  
"y-yeah," moritz breathes.  
  
"are you afraid?" melchior murmurs.  
  
"yes. no... no. youre my best friend, and--"  
  
"no, moritz," melchior sighs, his voice almost a growl. "no. thats not what this is about. we are a bride and groom on their -- our -- wedding night. are you afraid?" he prompts again.  
  
"yes."  
  
"but, excited, too?"  
  
"yes."  
  
melchior nods. "letting him know things, feel things, you dont even understand yourself -- thats what this is for her, moritz. thats what she feels."  
  
"this isnt helping," moritz mumbles, glancing down at his lap. his knee bounces up and down before melchior places his own hand there, trying to stop the rhythm of his nervous thumping.  
  
"i cant imagine why. it helps me," melchior says. he moves his hand from moritzs knee to his hand, and puts it on his own chest.  
  
"do you feel my heart beat, moritz?" he gets a nod in response. "do you hear it?" a pause, and a nod again. "think... it beats for you, and for me."  
  
"i... melchi... i dont..." moritz struggles as he watches his hand fall from melchiors chest. the boys grip on his wrist has gone, leaving moritz unsure of what to do with himself, besides stare back as those hands move to his waist.  
  
"look at me, moritz." he does so, tilting his head down, turning it slightly.  
  
"i dont really get where this is going."  
  
"its closeness."  
  
melchiors hands move from his waist up along his chest again, then they rest behind his neck. moritz can feel his heart in his throat and it feels like some other force entirely is moving him to lean in and let their lips touch. lightly, only for a few seconds, its energizing.  
  
their heads still pressed together, melchior talks again. "she cant resist it. he cant resist it. and everything becomes second nature."  
  
with that, he kisses moritz again, harder, and he feels it all building up, words caught in his throat. melchior is right, it _is_ second nature, and the thinking stops, the talking stops, eyes are closed and still melchior finds his way into his lap.   
  
tasting him, feeling his hands grasp at his hair, letting melchi pull a fevered sigh out of him--   
  
the only thing hes thinking, really thinking, is how lucky he is to have the smartest boy in the world as his best friend.


End file.
